14 Jul 8 Comments timbearden Puppy

Every litter that leaves our home I capture a group photo of.   They are my little pack members.  It’s a way for me to remember the puppies that are part of my pack.  There is someone missing in our recent group photo below.  I thought long and hard wondering if I should even take a group photo for Alice and Farley’s litter.  Once again I decided to do a group photo.  Ultimately though every time I look at it, I’ll be reminded of who is missing.

Alice and Farley Puppies’ Group Photo (7 1/2 Weeks Old)

Last Friday night our smallest girl from this litter passed away. A few days prior she got pneumonia. When we took her to the vet her breaths were fast, and heavy with abdominal breathing. Her x-rays showed the presence of pneumonia. My vet placed her on antibiotics. The news from the vet was better than I expected. Until it wasn’t. Friday I thought she was doing better. Her breathing had slowed and wasn’t as forced. However, she appeared a little more tired than normal. While sitting in the living room I heard her retching like she was gasping for breath. When I picked her up she went limp with very little if any breathing. I carried her to Jolene to help me out. She started to breath again. I stepped away, and she then passed.

Why Talk About It

I’ve only been breeding golden retrievers for about 4 years. I got into breeding about 12 years ago with Alaskan Malamutes, but that’s neither here nor there. I rarely tell people that I breed golden retrievers. The negative connotation that is connected with breeding can cause unfriendliness to those close to us and people we don’t even know. Most people will never hear from breeders of their struggles like this one. Maybe those breeders are not as open about the process as I am.

There are many breeders out there that breed for money. For some there is a lot of money in breeding to be made especially when they are packed in cages. That’s where I believe many of the negative connotations stem from. Many people blame breeding for shelters being full, although the reality is a good breeder wouldn’t allow their puppies to go to shelters if it can be prevented. For me, I set out breeding for different reasons and to make breeding seen in a positive light. I created my kennel name as an extension of my pack. Each puppy is part of my pack. I raise them in my home. Even Johanna gets attached when she plays with them. Many of our puppies go on to become service dogs and therapy dogs. Each little gem I hope goes into their new homes and brightens the lives around those they come in contact. Unfortunately there is one less gem gracing this world. Due to this event, I now ponder our future.

So Where Does The Bearden Pack Go From Here?

Currently I am at a point where I don’t know what my plans are. I don’t know if my pack will grow any larger. I’ve lost puppies at birth do to complications. I have had my own goldens stuck in the hospital due to unctrollable things like pymetra. I’ve spent tens of thousands on vet bills, hospital visits, cesarians, meds, certifications, dog shows, and the list goes on. My price is one of the highest prices in the country, and yet I’ve still managed to loose money. Breeding has become an expensive hobby. No matter how much money spent or made, no matter how many lives we have touched, the complications of the past didn’t quite make us desensitized to an experience like this.

I know some will say, it was just a puppy. She was only 6 1/2 weeks old. You couldn’t have become attached. Shouldn’t we be though? Shouldn’t we be invested in the puppies and not the money? If we aren’t attached, then maybe we are doing it wrong.

So the next few months might just be a break for us to reevaluate things. Thanks for reading my thoughts. It’s more for myself than you.

To the little gem we never named, rest in peace. Maybe we should have named you Gem.

#RIP

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Glacier Puppies
Alice and Farley's Litter